All make ready, the Great Pumpkin approaches!

Halloween's almost here! I'm twitching, I'm so excited. Or maybe that's the box of pumpkin peeps.

This is my favorite holiday ever. Better than Christmas, better than any birthday... in fact, the only way you could make it better would be to give gifts as well. Candy to strangers, DVD players to friends. Everyone gets dressed up, and at midnight, by the warm glow of jack-o-lanterns and street fires, everyone exchanges gifts. Could get confusing, though. "A negligee? I'm Frank, you idiot, your wife is the other ghost!"

I've always planned my costumes out almost a full year in advance. This was going to be my big year, the year I finally went as Martha. Stewart, not Washington. I've been searching for the perfect wig for the past 4 years, and collecting khaki's and denim shirts. I was ready. Now, no one will recognise me unless I wear prison orange, and there'll probably be a billion other Marthas out there. Sigh.

Speaking of not recognizing... did anyone else see the Larry King interview? It was frightening. She looked collagened and botoxed to the max, and I think Mary Kay herself did her makeup. Maybe even Tammy Faye. Oh, Martha... what happened to all your neutral tones?

Early in the morning a few days ago, having been up for well over 24 hours thanks to a schedule change, I came up with the best costume idea. First off, you have to understand that it's a group thing. Vegetables. One carrot alone would be pretty sad, but can't you just picture a whole flock of veggies walking down Castro? I'm really feeling the eggplant, I've got friends lined up for potato and leek, and I have the perfect celery in mind, I just have to convince him. Which may prove hard to do. My friends are starting to avoid my phone calls. I don't know why.

What is the proper pack name for a gang of vegetables? A murder of crows, a flock of seagulls, a... medley of veggies. Or goulash.

Okay, in reality, this is not going to happen. I'm getting a bit frantic. I guess I could go with my road idea from last year. No, I could be Life... as a highway. I wanna ride it all night long. Gimme gimme gimme gimme yeah. Still, I don't like costumes that require the question, "what the heck are you?" No one ever seems to appreciate my witty answer.

If you can't tell, I've been awake for a good bit today as well. I think I'll end this post before it degenerates any further, and go take a nap.

Comments

[Ann]

You could come be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with the kid. Your choice between Donatello, Leonardo, or Michaelangelo. Raphael is spoken for :)

[Mom]

How about a potage of veggies?

[linda lockyer]

One year my sister Anne went as a bunch of grapes, in a leotard with leaves on her head & lots of purple balloons on her body. I teach kindergarten & Halloween is a big favorite of mine, too, & also of the kids I teach. Sometimes I have kids in my class whose parents won't let them do Halloween or any other fun holiday, not even birthdays, for religious reasons (what kind of a God doesn't want kids to have fun?) & I always feel sorry for them & hope they will rebel when they grow up, cuz Halloween is the funnest. It's really too bad that most schools no longer allow kids to wear Halloween costumes to school, the way my kids did when they were in Elementary School. Thinking back, it was really all in fun, even the year Suzanne was in 6th grade at Ocean View and she & her best friend went as these really flatchested Playboy Bunnies!!! No one busted them, no pun intended here--isnt it funny the way our brains work? They just frolicked around with the witches & ghosts & vampires & brides of Frankensteins, without a "carrot" in the world. If it were today, and 2 preadolescent girls came to school on Halloween dressed as Playboy bunnies, things would certainly be "multiplied" all out of proportion and their parents would probably be turned in to CPS, having to "burrow" through lots of paperwork from the system. My dad always used to call rabbit droppings "smartness pills, " after an old joke he used to tell about 2 old men who were walking along and saw some small black things on the ground. One said to the other, "look! smartness pills! try one!" After eating one, the friend said, "Why, those are just rabbit droppings!" to which the other old guy replied, "See, you're getting smarter already!" Well, whatever you decide to be, I know you'll have fun. I'd like to knit Christmas stockings for everyone this year--got any quick, cute, colorful patterns? Love, Linda (Gaynelle's friend, dead Stuart's sister, Ruth's sister-in-law, Laura Beth's Aunt, mother of a former Playboy Bunny, fun-loving K tchr, just ME)

[Iris]

Have you considered Whitefish for Halloween night? It is notorious for it's halloween celebrations. For a conservative hoity toityish Montana town, you'd be surprised. People come out of the woodwork. It is more than fun. It's been a few years or so that I've been out on the town there on that particular night, since our kids have come into the picture, but apparently it's still happening. Oh, and the trick or treating is huge, too. Real door to door trick or treating after dark, not just at the mall during the day. Some people I know there are planning a neighborhood rummage sale soon as a fundraiser to pay for all the candy they hand out that night. Anyways, I just thought you might like it there. Where are you, anyways?