Halloween's almost here! I'm twitching, I'm so excited. Or maybe that's the box of pumpkin peeps.
This is my favorite holiday ever. Better than Christmas, better than any birthday... in fact, the only way you could make it better would be to give gifts as well. Candy to strangers, DVD players to friends. Everyone gets dressed up, and at midnight, by the warm glow of jack-o-lanterns and street fires, everyone exchanges gifts. Could get confusing, though. "A negligee? I'm Frank, you idiot, your wife is the other ghost!"
I've always planned my costumes out almost a full year in advance. This was going to be my big year, the year I finally went as Martha. Stewart, not Washington. I've been searching for the perfect wig for the past 4 years, and collecting khaki's and denim shirts. I was ready. Now, no one will recognise me unless I wear prison orange, and there'll probably be a billion other Marthas out there. Sigh.
Speaking of not recognizing... did anyone else see the Larry King interview? It was frightening. She looked collagened and botoxed to the max, and I think Mary Kay herself did her makeup. Maybe even Tammy Faye. Oh, Martha... what happened to all your neutral tones?
Early in the morning a few days ago, having been up for well over 24 hours thanks to a schedule change, I came up with the best costume idea. First off, you have to understand that it's a group thing. Vegetables. One carrot alone would be pretty sad, but can't you just picture a whole flock of veggies walking down Castro? I'm really feeling the eggplant, I've got friends lined up for potato and leek, and I have the perfect celery in mind, I just have to convince him. Which may prove hard to do. My friends are starting to avoid my phone calls. I don't know why.
What is the proper pack name for a gang of vegetables? A murder of crows, a flock of seagulls, a... medley of veggies. Or goulash.
Okay, in reality, this is not going to happen. I'm getting a bit frantic. I guess I could go with my road idea from last year. No, I could be Life... as a highway. I wanna ride it all night long. Gimme gimme gimme gimme yeah. Still, I don't like costumes that require the question, "what the heck are you?" No one ever seems to appreciate my witty answer.
If you can't tell, I've been awake for a good bit today as well. I think I'll end this post before it degenerates any further, and go take a nap.