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OuchAugust 12, 2004

If anyone knows where I can buy some damn patience, would you please let me know? Like, right now?

So the PT who made my orthotics (I keep almost saying prosthetics) warned me not to run on them right away. So I didn't. I waited a whole day. I wore them to work Tuesday night to break them in. I figure it's always a wise idea to break in new shoe products by sitting in them. Yep.

Then yesterday I slapped them in my new running shoes and went to the lake. I ran. I hurt. A lot. So I ran some more, like a dumb-ass. I ran until I got blisters on both insteps and until my shins were burning like my toast did this morning. I don't know what I was thinking, really I don't. I think I may have been hoping for a miracle, for the moment that I shifted into Orthotic Cure Land, where the inserts suddenly aligned my body and I ran like the wind. (Typo: ran like the wine. That's good, too.) Welp, I never got to that promised land, I only got seriously out of sorts.

The problem with the lake is that it's round(ish). Funny thing, that. Usually I enjoy that geometrical aspect. I like that I can run three miles without running 1.5, turning around, and re-doing the same 1.5. You know how I feel about frogging. I hate to re-do. So the lake is perfect for me. Usually. Yesterday, I got to the far side, and I hurt too much to keep running. So I had to walk. My car was sooo far away and I felt like I was six years old and I had fallen on the blacktop with no adults around. I was so discouraged I felt like crying. And I was so MAD at myself.

I hate being angry. Especially at myself. I had had very little sleep after waking early in the afternoon and lying there, that list of Things That Must Be Done spinning in my head. Do you ever get up in order to shut that noise off and then once you're up you realize that nothing was really that pressing? You could have stayed in bed that extra necessary hour or two?

So when I got home from the (non)run I iced my legs, drank some water, and got into bed again. I stayed there for the next two hours. I didn't sleep, because I'm very bad at sleeping, as has been established, but I felt better when I got up. I ate a tuna sandwich and had some coffee, and all was right with the world again. They're just shin splints. They're just blisters. Ain't no thang. Have you SEEN the Olympian runners? Their spinning legs make me ashamed to complain.

Little Mama, I know you'll call me because of this post, but I swear I'll take it easy. Pool running for me for a little while. Sigh. I hate pool running.

But I love running. Really. On a good day, I totally adore the feeling. At least I haven't forgotten that. And apparently I haven't forgotten how to make a kick-ass tuna sandwich (garnished with cherry tomatoes from the garden). That'll get a girl through.


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Hang in there. You're TRAINING. There will be ups and downs and days where you do something you shouldn't to push yourself. I admire your dedication. GO Rachael GO!

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