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Little SleepSeptember 15, 2004

Man, am I tired. But for good reason: I went to bed about nine this morning, and then got up at 11:30 because the Whoreshoes were playing on KUSF and I wanted to boot up the computer and listen to the show in bed. Because I can. Because I have wireless. (I love that. Have I mentioned that?) I thought to my sleep-addled self that I could even listen to it in the backyard (if the backyard happened to be in my bedroom, that is, ‘cause I wasn’t moving). It was a good show. I’m glad I woke up.

And then I noticed my phone light was flashing—that signal that someone had left me a message while I was sleeping with the ringer off. It was my realtor. Number 111 liked my offer the best and were countering it for more money! Really, it’s a wonderful thing to hear, but it’s a hard thing to hear after two plus hours of sleep, because there’s that painful moment of realization: I’m going to really have to wake up now. I called her back, and we had to “crunch numbers” (I really hate that phrase), and according to my realtor, the amount they were asking will still be affordable on a month-to-month basis. Very important, that last.

So I had to get up, get dressed, brush my teeth and put on lipstick (because even in the Big One I’ll have to stop to put on lipstick), and drive up to Orinda to sign Very Important Things. Things so very important that the ridiculously high nature of the sums discussed made my brain sizzle and spark, causing small shorts. I think I owe a lot of money now? Huh-uh.

Then, of course, I came home and got back in bed with all intentions to sleep again, and with all knowledge that I was going to be very very very bad at doing so. I was. It felt like a meditation exercise where you attempt to gently clear your mind and the one thing you don’t want to think about keeps sneaking into your line of sight. I refuse to get (very) excited about this property. One: It might not appraise at the amount they want. Two: I might not get full financing. Those are very real blocks. I refuse to decorate in my mind, or plan packing and moving, or think about where the cat litter box would go. So I lay there, not thinking. And then poof! I’d think, I wonder where the desk would look best? And whammo! Wide awake again, saying to myself, No Thinking About It. It’s so very far from a done deal that it’s actually an undone deal. That’s nothing upon which to prop thoughts of where to store extra toilet paper.

So. Anyway. While I’m super excited this is where I am, I almost wish I had just woken up this morning, listened to some old-time music on the new-time radio, and gone back to sleep. I would be more rested. Lots to think about. Lots, lots, lots. Not thinking. Much.

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Comments

Too early to arrange furniture, yes, but an excellent start. My fingers are crossed for you, love.

Things are headed in the right direction. I just knew they would. While I'm not one to count my chickens, I have a little sparkly feeling about this one. I'd even come help you move.

Best of luck with the "Not Thinking About It." I have very little control over that, myself, but I still try to.

Um, sweetie? You're a writer. Imagining possibilities is what you DO. You know you have the strength and resilience to cope if something does happen to the deal (I mean, shit, you ran 17 miles three days ago), but it's okay to dream a little. Really, it is. And given dear Digit's behavior over the past several days, thinking where the litter box might go seems *perfectly* logical to me. xoxo

I'm with Ann, thoughts of toilet paper and litter box placement seem to be nothing about the possibilities of what if but the reality of that is now :0) and the the thinking self is the writer self but precious human being that is wrapped in this mantle needs sleep....counting the days til you have seventeen when you are going to be busy doing nothing PLEASE make one of those nothings some longer spans of sleep than two and half hours eh.
I see a gig is coming up on Saturday but 'they' are playing early so maybe 'you's' won't play too late, cough.

Ooooh... best of luck to you on getting your Dream! I know how difficult it can be to wait, plus not think about it. I'm sending good housey vibes your way.

Congratulations!

Isn't the new radio great? I used mine to listen to Orioles games while sitting and sewing in the sunroom.

Oh, my! I'm so incredibly excited for you.

The thing with the lipstick? Um, yeah. This is getting a little eerie, you know.

Best of luck (with the not thinking and the things working out). I'm knocking on wood for you, cutie head.

It's damned hard to knit while I'm keeping my fingers crossed...

congratulations! and good luck. hey stop thinking about the money you'll owe...remember this is the one thing that you'll buy that will more than likely you money in the long run. and secondly, remember you have to live somewhere. it's not like you're buying something frivolous (like a mini convertible or something ;))

Me too: Crossed fingers. It will be, what it will be, eh?

:) Try to breathe.

hmm.. I think the trick isn't to not dream, its to not get so attached to the dream that everything crashes down if it pops. (I've rarely managed this...)

good luck with everything. Crossing toes for you (I have to work today, so crossing fingers would be tricky)

Aiyaaaa! Serenity now!!!

Oh! I'm super excited for you! Sorry to hear about your toe but I'm excited to hear it doesn't hurt....maybe mine won't hurt either though I'm willing it to stay on.

Can't wait to hear more about your house buying adventure!

Okay, the realtor is in Orinda, not the potential dwelling? Just checking you've not had a head injury...or a lotto win.

I know it's a brutal housing market, but the what ifs are the free fun bit. Paint chips on the brain.

Oh Rach - I'm so very excited for you. I know owning a home and signing a gynormous mortgage is WAY TOO SCARY and so TOTALLY GROWN-UP; but it can be a massively wonderful comfortable feeling sitting in a place and knowing that it truely belongs to you! So, fingers crossed - hoping all the people and days between today and closing are on your side.

Tired but cannot sleep
I might be a homeowner
Wow! that was easy

sorry about the lack of caps...that's what happens when you type with crossed fingers. best of luck!

wow...that brings back memories. I've been in this house since 1993. Good Luck, good luck, good luck! Things will always work out the way they should...even if it's not what you expect. I hope it all works out better than you expect!

Not thinking about it
I fall to sleep thinking about
Not thinking about it

I have moments like this when I really should just get my butt out of bed and work myself untill tired are retry the sleep thing.. but hey, I never learn.

I have my fingers crossed for you, and I can't wait to hear what happens next. In the meantime, listening to the Whoreshoes in bed is a pretty dandy thing to do. Gotta get me some of that wireless... xo

No prob. If the condo thingy doesn't work out, you know you and Banjo Girl can always come live at The Commune.

Love your blog - hope your dreams come true!

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything aligns right and you will be placing that kitty litter box in the best place soon.

Buying a place of your own is the bestest thing you can do for yourself. I *love* my little house. I hope this is the one!

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