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UpdateOctober 16, 2004

So it goes like this: I’m on my couch yesterday afternoon, almost in tears because I’m SO tired and SO scared all of a sudden. I haven’t been sleeping well, waiting for the call from the realtor that never comes.

I call the office. My realtor’s brother says, “Oh, she was going to call you in about two minutes. I just got off the phone with her.”

“Is it good news or bad?”

“Ummm.... mediocre?”

I start to shake. Luckily, she really does call me. This is the sitch. The lender has a problem with the loan because the home-owners’ association ran in the red a couple of years ago. They had a repair that had to be made and there wasn’t enough money in the general fund (because it’s a 4-plex there’s not much money to be had). They don’t like it. My realtor has been fighting with them, and they’re sending it now to Corporate and Legal. The decision should be made by Tuesday (haven’t I heard that before?). My realtor already has another loan package put together and ready to send to another lender, should this one fall through. But will that lender like me? Who knows? They might be happy with the HOA but not with my finances.... The seller, luckily, is willing to wait. A blessing, that.

Anyway. I still have to move. My realtor and her brother have a duplex in a really great area in Piedmont and she wants me to rent it if this drags on a while. I, on the other hand, would be happier couch-surfing if it’s only going to be a few weeks or so. But if the place falls all the way through and I have to start looking all over again, I’ll take the apartment and move twice.

Move twice.

I can hardly bear the thought.

I had a major melt-down on the couch. I called Marama and bawled an unintelligible message on her machine. I grumped out and cried to sister Christy. I told Lala I didn’t want her to come over -- I would stick it out myself. I would be strong. I would pack. Then I melted down all over again and asked her to come over. She was amazing and strong and we watched an episode of Lost. I didn’t pack. It was great.

This much I know: I have to get into a place. I need to own a property. I’ve come this far, I can’t stop now. It might suck for a while, this part might be really, really hard, but I just have to get through it.

I didn’t like the way I felt yesterday. I’m going to try to avoid that as much as possible. I need more sleep, boy howdy do I. I need more baths. More ice cream wouldn’t hurt. More time to pack, but I’m not going to get that, so I have to do the best I can with what I’ve got.

This housing thing ain’t for the weak, is it? They’d get tromped into the mud. Sheesh. But really, truly, I’m all right, and my heart is stronger now. It’ll work out for the best.

Aren’t you tired of hearing all about this? Cromarty is put together! She needs neckbands, and we’ll be havin’ a party. Speaking of parties, if you’re in the Bay Area, Becca’s having a KIP get-together tomorrow. I can’t make it, but maybe some of y’all can?

Peace, love, out. I’ll let you know when I hear more.
MWAH! (typo: MWHAT -- twice.)


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I'm with you with that feelin'. Got to have a room of one's own, got have a place to set down and just be for as long as you want to be that's yours...stupid redtape realities and lenders and packing boxes and business people "personalities" messing up the dream. F*ing f*ers. New music and a swim sometimes lighten up my funk...

It's the waiting that'll kill you. You know, though, your realtor sounds really great (I never thought I'd ever say that about ANY realtor), and you have a place to live in the meantime and no matter what. Things will all work out, but unfortunately you have to go on the full ride before you get to the end! Hang in there!!

It's still good. The lender has issues with the condo association, not with you. Frankly, I'd also have issues with the condo association if that was a problem (ask me how I know this, having had to re-finance to meet an $11,700 additional assessment). Believe it or not (and I know it's tough right now), but in protecting themselves, the lender is also protecting you. Remember, it's in everyone's best interest for you to succeed and your lender doesn't want you to get hit with something like the above.

Hugs. That is all.

hang in there. its not you, its the HOA. and that's a good thing. take care.

Hugs and virtual ice cream coming your way. What's that thing about nothing great coming along without struggle--maybe this is how it goes in modern society.

Don't let the bureaucratic bastards get you down.

And Yay Cromarty!!!

This stuff is so different from the way loans are managed here - not better or worse, just different. I've been through it 6 times now in both Aus and NZ (yikes!) and it doesn't get any better. We have a state tax on property purchase in New South Wales, called Stamp Duty. It was tens of thousands of $$$ on each of my last two purchases.

Sending hugs. <>

Hang in there. In the end, it's so worth it. There is a security in owning your own home that brings a special peace. Sleep more, take yummy smelling baths, eat ice cream and find your "zen place". If you need help moving just say the word.

And, thanks so much for organizing the Knit Out - it was great fun to meet new knitting folks!

i've went thru buying 2 places and both were laden with drama. seller wants a bigger down payment. seller changed their mind after the loan was approved and wanted more money. township wouldn't approve the sale (the day OF the sale!). and somehow, it always works out for the best. it's not always easy to see that when you're in the thick of it. i survived 2 purchases and i know you'll survive this one :)

After this is all over, you're going to be really proud of your self for getting through it. In the meantime, treat yourself like you would treat someone you really cared about. Eat all the ice cream you need and do anything else that qualifies as pampering. All us virtual friends are pulling for you!

I know this is hard, but you will only appreciate your new little home that much more(since you have had to pull out your hair along the way). It would have been so boring had it been a slam dunk easy transaction :). I have good feelings about it. Keep packing! We have an extra room if you need it.


That said, it will all work out.

Hugs. Lots of them. Some because you need them, others just because I love to hug ya.

You were SO at Rhinebeck in spirit yesterday. Didja feel it? Hunh? Em and I were carrying you around in our heads all day long.

No Dear Rachel...not tired of hearing about your home buying ups and downs. More often than not, most anyone who's bought a home has gone through their own version of what you are going through. Home buying is not for the faint of heart especially if you are fiscally challenged.

So! Know you are not alone.
Cry. Cry. and cry some more...their only tears and - at least for me - the best stress reliever I know.

Big Virtual Hug

No, home buying is not for the weak, but you're not weak so I'm not worried. It WILL work out fine, and you'll look back on all this stress and laugh.

In the meantime, if you like pumpkin ice cream I'll share the batch I'm making right now, and if you start surfing couches I know one that folds out...

Dear Rachael:

Take a few deep breaths. It's going to be tough, but so, so worth it in the end. Just think - your own place, no longer at the mercy of rent increases, you can paint and redecorate to your heart's delight. Your realtor sounds like a sweetie (our own was just fabulous), so you're in good hands. Take it easy, and hey, it's OK to have breakdown, y'know. We ALL do that. I've done the Move-twice thing. Not fun, but we survived. I know you will too.

Hey! Keep your eye on the prize...everything will come together...you are such a strong person... and it sounds like you have good people working for you!


Everything will fall in place...and it'll be all the sweeter.

oh boy. it will all come out in the wash, no? don't pull out too much hair - we still want you lookin' fabulous in your new pad when you finally do get to make your final move. :) and after those extra baths, you should definitely knit some more - it does wonders for the nerves!

Balance, baby - it's all about balance. As excruciating as this waiting period is, there's a big ball of happy waiting at the other end. When it starts to feel overwhelmingly BAD, just imagine an equal amount of ECSTATIC when it all comes together and you unpack those bags of yours in a home that's yours, really yours.

It'll be worth it.

Rhinebeck was awesome, wish you could've been there.

Oh heck, ARGH! All will be fine, I just know it. Sorry you've got to go through this hell though. Luckily, I've never seen a person with more friends than you. I'm sure you'll be set for years if you rotate couch surfing with all of them. Maybe you can put an ad on Craig's list--housesitter for luxury homes available...hee...Can you see it - what no indoor lap pool, we we'll see. Hang in there!

Hang in there and good luck. I don't know if this fact will help any, but home buying ranks right up there with losing a spouse in terms of Sheer Overwhelming Stress ( I kid you not--it's one of the biggest stressors most folks will ever experience).

You will succeed. You will enjoy your new place. And once the 2 a.m. Oh MY GOD I have a MORTGAGE! panics wear off you'll really, really enjoy it because it really is a pretty damn cool feeling.

(I've been a homeowner for a whopping 3 years. I've no desire to go back to apartment living, even when I'm up shovelling the snow off the roof in the middle of winter .)

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