I Can't Bear ItMarch 25, 2005

You know when you're thinking something, and you know it's a bad thing, and you hope no one thinks the same thing, so you keep doing what you're doing and keep hoping no one will notice? Yeah, you know what I mean. You just keep plugging along, thinking, Oh, hell. No. You're wrong. No one will say that. I'm just crazy.

And then your coworker says, "That sweater makes me want a Big Mac. You gonna wear a Ronald McDonald red wig with that? Maybe you should go on down there and tell 'em you want a job." And later, when I was actually ON my way to McDonald's, "Hey! You forgot your sweater! You could get a discount!"

I got all pissy. I called her names. I think I might have flipped her off. I acted like I hadn't been thinking it all along.

And then I talked myself into thinking it was funny. Like it would endear me to the sweater. Won't it be great to have a Fast Food Cardi? Everyone will want one. That is, they'll want one when they come back from their food run that they suddenly had to make -- they haven't had a cheeseburger in years, but just sitting near me made the visions of 2-pickles-onions-lettuce dance in their heads.

Here it is. Camera phone shot, but believe me -- this is the classic red/orange married with brilliant yellow of all your childhood happy-meal dreams.

I was gonna put more yellow around the vee-neck and the button bands, but I don't think I can now. I tried it on and just stood there, thinking. I love red and yellow. I adore them together. But this..... Even if I did stick to my guns and finish it, every single time I put it on, I would think about Ronald. Every time I got out of the car, I would wonder if people thought I was on break from taking orders (not that there's anything wrong with that, god forbid. I just don't want something I make to look like a fast-food uniform). No matter what I tell myself, it's just not going to happen.

I think I might rip the yellow out and add black rolled bands instead. Oooh! Or attached i-cord! Or white, as a summery contrast. Or hell, orange.

Sigh. Now I want a bacon-egg-n-cheese biscuit....

Oh, man. I was kinda kidding when I said that. But now I'm not.

Comments

[Wendy]

And now I want a bacon-egg-n-cheese biscuit too. Sigh.

And I think the sweater is damned cute!

[maeve]

i think the sweater would be adorable as-is, but if it makes you think of McD's, then you won't wear it. Or, alternatively, you'll wear it, eat way too many bacon-egg-n-cheese bisquits, and then it won't fit anymore.

Regardless, if somehow your co-worker is pelted with fries in a random "fry-by", you were with me the WHOLE TIME. ;)

[Rachel]

Yeah...I have to admit it smacks of the Golden Arches a bit.

Even so, you could stitch a giant golden Anarchy symbol on the front and tell everyone it is your punk-rock anti-corporate anti-McDonald's sweater. You could tell them, "Some people just knit, I like to make statements."

Or you could just rip out the yellow and add purple cuffs? That would still be fun.

[Kristi]

I like the idea of ripping the yellow and adding black attached icord. Red and black always looks great.

[Norma]

Okay, first of all: That coworker SO needed the bird flipped. Second of all: I'm SO glad she said what she said so I could have you write this story for me and I could read it. I am just CRACKING up!!! I see that orangey red with some leaf green or eggplant. How 'bout that?

[Norma]

...yes, OR, sorta along the lines of Rachel's comment -- how about just going with it, and putting an i-cord big 'R' on it, for Racheal (not Ronald). You, if anyone, could pull it off!

[Laura in Alameda]

Oh, Man, that is a coworker that is NEVER going to get a knittd gift- nope, no baby sweaters, no socks, no nuthin'. SOO clever of her to dis the knitter- and SO short sighted!
Go with purple- and never wear a red polo shirt at Target (ask me how I know)

[j.]

That co-worker needs sympathy: she's apparently the perfect gullible consumer, and the branding that she's subjected to daily has had the effect that McDonald's dreams about. She sees red and yellow, thinks of fast food, and encourages others to think about fast food as well.

And oh, yeah, she's obnoxious, too.

[Rachael]

No, no, in her defense, she was RIGHT. And I needed the wake-up call she provided. Now I won't be humiliated by kids asking me for any spare happy-meal toys I might hiding in my pockets....

[Lizzi]

If you walked into my McDonald's with that sweater on, I'd give you a discount. :)

Heck, if you randomly walked into my McDonald's, seeing as how it's thousands of miles away from where you live...I'd give you a discount anyway. MWAH!

[anj]

well, I always say when in doubt claim post-modernism and run.

But I always have loved red and purples together. Or you can go the contrasting colors route adn pick green. But I'm all about black bay-bee.

[Leslie]

How 'bout duplicate stitching this on the back...

"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

The cardi's a cutie.

[shobhana]

that is hilarious! i'm sorry, no it really isn't it. (i almost spit out my yogurt as i was reading that.)

[Miriam]

I think that if you're gonna be uncomfortable wearing it or unhappy, then you should change it. I vote for replacing yellow with yellowy orange. Get the whole range of orange colors in there.

M

[Silvia]

It's actually a nice sweater, though it seems as if those impolite comments have taken the bloom off the proverbial rose. You can change the yellow to black and we'll then have to beg you to take it off in a few weeks to wash it. OR you could keep the yellow, embrace it, and duplicate stitch a stylized version of the corporate golden arches logo on the back. Oh and I'll have the two cheeseburger meal please...

[margene]

Too funny...how about some bright spring green as trim.

[Mariko]

Maybe if you had a big red nose and some striped red and yellow pants I would think of Ronald, but I think it's cute as is! If it bugs you too much, though, you may as well change the bands. Sniff. Does it smell like french fries in here to you?

[Lorette]

Happy Meals...hmmmm. I think I would change the edges, especially since it's you that has to change them and not me. Purple, I say.

[maryse]

i don't think it looks like a ronald mcdonald sweater -- if it were striped, maybe -- but i think your coworker was just thinking about big macs to begin with and if you were wearing a purple turtleneck she would have called you the grimace. but anyway, how about keeping the yellow and adding a dark purple stripe. you know yellow and purple are color complements.

[indigirl]

Bacon Egg N Cheese Biscuit... it's even better when you say it as fast as possible. Did you know we don't have those marvelous breakfast treats in Canada? In fact, no one knows what a "Biscuit" is here. At least, not in the Buttermilk Biscuit sense. There are "Tea Biscuits" and biscuits that are actually cookies. But nothing flaky and made of all that lard and heavy cream.

Yum.

OK now I'm starving.

[Rebecca]

BUT I kinda like the red and yellow! OK what about this!?! Rip back the yellow, add in some black and then RE-Add the yellow. How would that look?

FFFFHHHHH! on the co-worker. Some people!

[Emily]

Step away from the Macdonalds, Rachael!! If you need any further incentive to do so, go read one of the stories about the lady in San Jose who found a fingertip in her Wendy's Chili. Ack!
I think red and black would look great. Or red and burgundy, even better.

[Anne Marie]

Until seeing your sweater, I didn't realize that my favorite colors are McDonald's colors! Supersize that!

Maybe you could knit a little hamburger broach and just go with it :)

[heather]

heh.

Don't sweat it...there's a felted purse that had bacon and eggs on it...felt up some pancakes, wear your cardi and poof!you're a super value breakfast meal!

ooh..now I want some oj and a hashbrown!

(really, it looks great... ;)

[ann]

I don't think it looks like a McSweater at all! I love red and yellow together and McD's didn't invent that combo! If we eliminate all colors that corporations use, what will be left? white? black?

[Stella]

F*ck that person who made fun of your sweater. It's gorgeous! She's jealous! Just because she has polluted her own mind with (nasty) McDonald's commercials & food, that should not ruin your enjoyment of your creation.
I used to pin up my hair with "hairsticks" (made from brown plastic) and I can't tell you how many jokes I had to listen to about antennae in my hair, having forgotten my chopsticks in my hair after eating Chineses lunch, etc. etc. Until I asked those same people if I should point out to them when they were wearing high-water pants and white socks!
McDonalds does not own red & yellow! They are an irresponsible corporation selling crap to kids. If you like it, wear it.
Watch SuperSize Me and you'll never want their food again.

[monica]

it's cute the way it is. she's just jealous that she can't knit something as rad for herself!!!! reminds me of when i was in the 3rd grade and i had a ronald mcdonald dress (i'm not kidding) complete with a red tie. i loved that thing and wore it all the time with my red waffle bottom nikes that i swore made me run faster. to think, i was a corporate label whore at the age of 8. oh, and it's all about the bacon, egg, cheese biscuit without the bacon and substitute the yucky flop o' egg with the scrambled egg from the pancake breakfasts. i'm a total high maintenance gal at mcd's but i swear by the scrambled egg. try it. you'll never go back to the egg flop.....

[Yvette]

No, no, don't put a white border on that sweater -- you'll be the butt of Santa Claus jokes next. It's a totally sweet sweater - just change the border if you don't like the combination. If you do like it, heck, more power to you!

[beg]

I think it's very cute! You should leave it as is and wear it to work daily for the next month. :-)

[Delf]

It's hard to tell from the photo: could you convice yourself it's Gryffindor colors instead?

I pictured something much worse from your description.

[Becca]

Somehow you fell off bloglines ... I've missed *days'* worth of posts! It is hard to get a read on the real colors on my monitor, but I love the shape of this sweater.