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Mr. FanJuly 21, 2005

So. You all may never, ever see another finished object from me. I am knitting, I swear. I've finished the handspun Lara, and a shrug in support of autism, and the one-skein wonder, and I can't show them to you. Yes, all my cameras work. The objects fit. They're actually awfully nice.

But it's too effin' hot to put any of them on to take a picture in daylight. I mean, NORma. Damn.

I'm such a wuss when it comes to heat. I loved what Cuzzin Tom said the other day about barely being able to dab the strawberry ice cream to his lips -- that's the way I feel. Ice is too heavy to put in the glass.

But things HAVE changed for the better. I have made an astounding discovery. Well, I can't even claim credit for it. Lala gave me a stand-up fan (maybe she wanted me to quit whining -- I just realized that). And then at work, Marama made a stunning comment. She said she stood in front of her fan in the bathroom when she was getting ready for work.

And I said, "Oh, my GOD, I could MOVE the fan!"

Because I am just so amazingly intelligent, I had placed the fan next to the bed, in case I got hot while sleeping during my day-sleeps, when in fact that's usually the only time I'm comfortable in summer, because I'm lying on top of my sheets, with verra little on, not moving or thinking (do you ever wake up and feel your consciousness come back, and feel your temperature rise as you lie there thinking? Weird). But as soon as I get up and move an arm or a leg or god forbid walk a few steps, I'm an unhappy, grumpy sweatball. Ask Lala. She'll tell you. Normally cheerful to the point where strangers want to brain me in the post office, I turn into a whiny whimpering puddle. "It's hotttttt. Why does it have to be soooo hottttttt? It's still hottttttt. I'm too hottttttt. No. That's wrong. You're doing it wrong. Sheesh. Gah. I wanted the OTHER ice cream sandwich. It's hotttttttttt." I would stomp my feet in this state and throw myself on the floor, kicking and flailing, but that would be exertion, so screw that. I just whine and pout. Attractive, to be sure. (And this is in Oakland, where my interior house temperature never goes above 90, I'm sure. I would flipping fry in Texas or somewhere actually hot.)

Anyway. I moved the fan. I moved it into the living room while I was on the computer. Lo and behold, I checked email without getting all whiny and sweaty and horrible. Then after I got out of the bath, I took the fan into the bathroom and pointed it at myself while I put on makeup and did my hair. I was comfortable. I didn't have the rivulets of sweat running down my just-washed body that I usually do, Oh, I hate that.

I even took a nap last weekend after work on the couch in front of my new best friend, Mr. Fan, and I was a little... wait for it..... chilly! I loved it so much I didn't even turn it off. I just shivered and smiled.

This to say: Good luck getting me to take pictures of sweaters in July.

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Comments

Oh....I am laughing....Rachel, you crack me up....now grab a towel and come swimmin' with us.

Good luck getting anyone to take a picture of a sweater in July. Unless you are in Australia or somewhere in the southern hemispheres. The only way that I will take a picture of a sweater in July is of it hanging. And not on me. Rachel...thanks for the laugh. I needed it!

you are such a hoot Ms Rachel...I am also a whiny thing in the heat and you described it soooo perfectly....oh, that's right, you're a writer.... :)

Wait, I thought you were supposed to bolt those things to the floor, ha ha.
Reminds me of my room-mate, years ago, who kept running out of her bedroom to check the little oven timer she had set on the kitchen counter. She was getting annoyed with the back and forth but didn't want her TV dinner (whatever) to burn. So, genius me said to her "you KNOW, you could just take the timer back to your bedroom, it doesn't have to remain next to the stove." Looked like she wanted to clobber me for a minute -- then we both burst into laughter.
Stay cool.

A real-world use of The New Swear Word! I am very impressed.

giggle.giggle.giggle.
You are just the BEST!

NORma at yer service. I have another really great way to use a fan, but ...is this a family site?......Heeheeeeee. NORma!!!

I love those transforming moments of discovery of something really simple.

I wear sweaters in July because work is an icebox. And, we do keep it on at home, so I can knit. I say it's so the girls can get some sleep in the attic, but I know the truth.

I said it to Cari, and I'll say it to you - freeze your pillowcases. A little stint in there with the ice cream sandwiches will make it make it a dang sight easier for you to find the cool side of the pillow.

Oh, and happy belated anniversary. You guys are the cutest.

Oh, and Cromarty is AWESOME. See, you don't even have to photograph your knits, you've got Rob doing it for you!

Why no A/C in CA when I have A/C in Minnesota? Seems not quite right if you ask me....but you didn't did you.
If I could, I'd send you my extra fan..it's a bog old box fan and if you put it right in the window at night when it's cooler it's like a magic air conditioner-spectacular!
Maybe you could dress the cats in the sweaters to show them off ;)

ok. I'm with Cursing Mama on this one - what is the deal with folks in CA not owning Air conditioners? I was just at Crazy Aunt Purl's site and she's dying from the heat too. Girls! Get thee to Sears, darlin' - they deliver! mount that puppy in your bedroom window and voila, you are human once again. I got mine for like $150 6 years ago and it's still the best investment I ever made.

Uh, yeah, you can definitely move the fan. Mine go all around the house as I have no A/C either. I just bought this thing called an evaporative cooler that I have to give a whirl. It's portable (on wheels) and you pour water in it to give moisture to the air and it cools the air in the area that it's hooked up to (it plugs into an AC outlet). It was about $115 at Lowe's and it looks like it'll be a nice addition since it's so incredibly, freakin' hot here!

We had a similar situation - it took Terry's 5 year old nephew to suggest that we move the fan. Two blushing aunts did so, and we're much cooler now.

But you know, you don't have to *wear* the sweaters. I'd be happy to see stuff draped over sofas or chairs or any handy flat surface. Or even on Mr Fan....

You are a nut!!! And I mean that in a good way. Just move the fan or find another one to keep in the bathroom. I am surprised that the cats haven't tried taking over the fan since it does move the air. And it is weird that you don't have A/C even in northern California.

Girl, it's so hot I had to x-cape to the Downtown Library! Internet connection and AC! AMEN TO THAT! Y'know if I could have brought my fan along, I would have!

Hi, Rachael! It's hot even here in Newport Beach, CA! ICK! BTW, just wanted to give you a shout out for knitting something for the autism cause. My youngest nephew is autistic, so I'm always so grateful when people contribute in any way they can. Even through your hectic work schedule and busy life, you still manage to knit something so pretty for such a great cause. You're so sweet and wonderful...:)

Girl, go get a window AC!! That's the only way those of us in the Sweltering South manage to live through June. and July. and August.

Sounds like you need one in EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE. Hint. I agree. go get a WINDOW AC- you can get a pretty heavy duty one from Cost Co or even a Sams Club for about 150 buckaroos. It changed my life, let me tell you.

You're killing me! I'm dying laughing. Really. It makes me want to send you a fan for every room of the house and 2 for the kitchen. How about a picture of you in a sweater in front of the open fridge? That might make it cool enough for the few seconds it takes to snap a pic. Heh.

Uhm, honey, you could go to home Depot and buy another fan? I have six, I think.....

Heard you were using NORma's name in vain so I had to stop in an stalk a while. hehe

I live in Texas. I have lived here since I was 4. If I moved to Alaska I would insist that there be an air conditioner. How do you people stand it? Seriously!

Oh, and you just cracked me up. My hubby could read this and think I wrote the whinging portion. :)

Hope you have a great day!

i'm in love with my fan as well. i refuse to EVER turn it off, including when the A/C is also going. that's me, user of as much energy as possible. i also have all the ceiling fans on at all times.

i like a breeze. ;)

I'd commiserate, but then I just moved from your lovely 'hood to a place where 90 is downright cool for summer.

It's 58 degrees here in the south of Seattle area. Just sayin', in case you want to move someplace less hot. It was 80 and sunny yesterday, so we do get our "sun breaks" too.

In Texas, we have central AC. Although I did live in an apartment for a ridiculous 7 years that not only had no central AC (one window unit) but no central heat either. What it lacked in amenities (not even a disposal) it made up for in 1200 sq feet of hardwood floors. large closets, 2 bedrooms and a central location for $550/mo including utilities.

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