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AarghAugust 26, 2005

Apparently I've forgotten how to knit.

I was designing this aran, mm-kay? Not that hard. I figgered out the motifs I wanted, and swatched them, measured, did the math (I love the math). Cast on for the 244 stitches I needed, joined, knit the ribbed band. All of it. Lots of ribbing.

Then I realized in my notes I'd added a motif, which was going to make the sweater a good three inches bigger around than I'd wanted it. As it's going to be for a small person, those inches mattered. If it was for me, I'd just have accepted a bigger sweater. With a misplaced, odd-man-out motif under the armpit. Whatever.

But I ripped it out.

Cast on the correct number, 232. Ribbed it all. Lots of ribbing. Lots of boring ribbing. Decided to count one last time -- don't know why I did this, but I did. I was TWENTY stitches over. I had been knitting 252 stitches the whole time. And I'd counted twice!

I ripped it out.

Cast on again. Counted my stitches approximately one gajillion times. Did the ribbing. Lots of ribbing. Almost done, I smoothed it to admire it.


I've never done that in all my knitting life.

I threw it into the corner of my knitting bag and we're not speaking. Stupid complicated 2X2 ribbing.

But I've been working on the wedding dress. I've forgotten to install decrease rows three times now. And on this decrease row that I'm on, I've forgotten twice to do so when I'm supposed to. So I'm taking a break from tinking to write this.

I'm a knit-moron lately, and I don't know why. Humbling, really. I'd make a sock, but it probably wouldn't fit anyone I know. Or anyone human.

(Thanks for laughing at my post yesterday. That felt great. Happy weekend!)


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Make a dishcloth. Even I can make a dishcloth. Yours will be better and then you can feel all pumped up about it.

Or not.

Ribbing sucks. I feel your pain and hope that you and your aran will be able to reconcile your relationship soon. If it refuses I suggest you make it watch while you knit other sweaters. Make it feel what it's missing.

I think you need to knit something that will provide instant gratification to remind yourself that you are a fantastic knitter.

Aww...I hope you get it sorted out!!

See, that's karma coming to kick you in the ass. You start spreading rumors about people, and there you go! Mwahahahahaha!

Now you watch THIS karma come and kick ME in the ass when I pick my Must Have back up again. It kicked me in the ass ENOUGH before....now I've REALLY done it! Mwah!

You poor dear! I can SO EASILY RELATE to this pain and frustration. Why do the knitting Godesses have to put up in our places in such a cruel and torturous way? Why oh why??

Enjoy a nice little break, all will get better.


I wonder which planet influences knitting, and whether it's in a bad house right now...

When I have a lot of stitches to cast on, I do a knitted cast-on and place a marker every 20 stitches. I get out all the markers I'll need in advance, too. This way I never have to count past 20 - because I can't without losing track!

PS I also have moron-slumps. It's worth it 'cause they're usually followed by bursts of genius!

Dude, sometimes yarn does NOT want to be ribbed. It's not your fault.

Or, heck, maybe it IS your fault! Something about that karma that Norma mentioned. Mwah-HA!

Maybe you need to dance around a bonfire under the full moon wearing nothing but the mobius strip to appease the Kniting Goddess. (Wow, imagine the 911 calls that would generate!) Alternatively (is that a word?), you could bind off the strip and gift it to someone as a funky ribbed mobius scarf. Then start fresh on wool that doesn't resent being ripped out 3 times.

Oh, crap! I spelled Knitting Goddess wrong! Now I will be doomed to knit Barbie dresses with skinny acrylic yarn forevermore!! Oh, well...at least my 4yo will be happy.

Now, when you say Moebus strip, do you mean that you twisted the ribbing when you joined the circle? Because if you did, it's salvageable--just drop a stitch at the "join", ladder it down to the cast-on row, and untwist the knitting, then re-work those dropped, laddered stitches. You'll be left with a twist in the cast-on row, but that will be barely noticeable amidst the rest of the knitting, and since it will be at the side "seam," really, who'll ever notice?

So it isn't just a slow time for blogs huh? I get scared when I have to cast on anything over 50 stitches. I just know I'll find a way to mess it up. Counting should theoretically be easy, right? HA

Take a breath. Take a walk. Count to ten. Tell those knits if they don't stop conspiring against you you'll forsake them for fun fur. It's not you, it's your knitted items.

You're a great knitter. It's just that 2x2 ribbing is from the devil. And it's psyched you out.

heee you sound just like me - only I NEVER HAD your awesome knitting skills. To overcome my major issues with ribbing I don't, to overcome my major issues with casting on correctly I make DH count them (twice), and when I screw up too many times in a row I throw everything the corner and pout while knitting a simple knit all rows dishcloth to prove I actually can make something (this usually comes out wonky anyway). Hopefully for me your skills have been transmitted via internet to me for the weekend so I can knit something fab & quick - but I'm guessing the cats hid them under the sofa.

Hi Rachel.. ok here goes.. how about if instead of just doing a plain rib you do a twist cable? at least you won't be that bored and can maybe get the brain around the counting part.. you know something always has to trigger the multi tasking side of our brain:-) hugs and lots of luck sorting it outKarola

Have a glass of wine and chill. That'll help.

Ohhh... I so feel your pain!

Also wanted to tell you that I enjoy reading your blog! :)

On the wedding dress decreases: I have one of those row counter things that's got a built-in marker loop. I use it to mark the beginning of a circular row, and then when I'm counting rows to a decrease row, I set the count to the number of rows remaining. I decrement the counter every time I hit it. When it gets to zero, it's decrease row time, and then I reset the counter for the count to the next decrease row. Just having to stop and mess with the counter keeps me from getting into a groove and powering past the decrease row.

deep breath, glass(es) of wine, repeating the mantra: "it's the sweater's fault it's the sweater's fault."

Ah, yes. I'm with ya. I have a knitting project that I'm not speaking to, as well. I've seamed up the same armhole 4x and it still looks like crap. Stoopid ribbony, frilly, yarn. It has now been banished from hanging out with all of the other WIPs.

Man, I can relate in so many ways! I forgot how to play bass a year ago (but fortunately I'm in a band with a great bass player now! That sorta made me relax and I can play again). I've been crocheting this baby blanket, and it's been drivin' me NUTS! Rumply. Pull it out. Too tight. Pull it out. I think we've finally come to a truce and I may finish it this weekend. ARgh!

Now that is what you get for blabbing all those secrets and spreading all that gossip. The Karma dude just got you back big time. Next time, you may want to try and whisper a little lower.

I've just re-started the same mitten for my mother for Christmas for the 6th time this evening...not all is my fault. Our new puppy loves balls of yarn, and double pointed needles...also good furniture, wires, plugs, hands, feet, shoes.....

Oh no. The twisted join. That yarn has it in for you, clearly. You did something to it in a past life, like made it into anything out of "Knit 'N Style" magazine. Serves you right.


Oh yes, I've been there. In fact, most of last year I spent trying to make a sweater that frankly, did not want to be made. I knat, I ripped. I knat, I ripped. Kept thinking I had it perfect, then managed to screw it up in some creative new way. By the time the damn thing was done, I'd probably made enough stitches for SIX regular, non-cussed sweaters. And now it's finished, I still hate it, on principle.

But you have some great suggestions in these comments. I especially like how to un-Moebius your strip, but Karola clearly thinks the same way I do. I refuse to do plain 2x2 ribbing. Ever. Too damn boring.

Speaking as a person who has voluntarily taken on an entire freaking sweater of 2 x 2 rib, I feel your pain. Mwah. Poor darling.

I knit a Lopi sweater, grafted the arms on, knit part of the yoke and put it away for 10 years. When I took up the sweater again, I knit about two-thirds of the yoke before I realized that I had grafted one of the arms on correctly and the other on at my left breast. After 10 years, the yarn didn't really want to be frogged nicely so what did frog is now a felted bag and a whole pile of Dulaan hats.

Whenever the knitting offends me I try to through out some of the yarn, just a couple of inches. Tell it s it's going to sleep with da fishes if it doesn't behave.

I have it on good information that if you offer the knitting goddesses chocolate they will forgive you and stop messing with your knitting. In lieu of that I suggest stich markers. I wish you luck.

It's the knitting kharma you get for spreading vicious rumours, baby. :: giggle::
Not Al Paca, but Your Llama.

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