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ListsJanuary 19, 2006

I canNOT seem to get motivated. I have too much to do, and the lists are so daunting that I haven't done anything, really, in the last two days. Been catching up on sleep. Have been spinning. (I'm making a sweater out of handspun and I ran out, so I really needed to do production spinning.)

When I was sick last week, I didn't clean the house. There is still a pile of kleenex next to my side of the bed, and the stack of dirty clothes is making me crazy. I look around the house and think PACK! Get boxes! (Anyone got any boxes?) PACK, for the love of Christ!

But ohmygod, are we really moving? Will they really give us a house? How can we pack when we don't know that for sure? I hate the fear behind the word "escrow" even though I love having the ability to be in it. Well, hell. I suppose if I totally pack, and the bottom falls out, then I can unpack and know where everything is. Packing. Sigh. I love unpacking.

All this talk about packing has got me thinking about other things, and I'm cracking myself up. Ahem. (Did anyone else see Jon Stewart the other night, with his discussion of the political taint? Heh.)

Also: The wedding planning. ACKKKKK. Every time I start to get serious about doing something for the move, I open the computer and start to think about things for the wedding. Note that I didn't say I start to DO things for the wedding, because I don't. I go online, look at invitations, and then close the computer, overwhelmed.

Here are the things I know I need to do:
Order invitations
Order white lights to decorate
Order linens
Do I need to rent glassware? I'm thinking plastic, yo. My peeps are humble stock.

Oh, the list goes on. I can't think of it all right now. You who know this stuff: We have the hall, we have the band, we need the photographer and the invitations, we have the food/drink worked out if sketchy. What the hell am I forgetting that needs to be done right now, three months to go?

Oh, besides the dress. Shut up. Smart ass. I'm working on it! (The skirt is done -- yippee!.) And what about the veil? And the shoes.

MOVING! See how I work my way away from packing? Erg. It's all good, though. Really good.


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Darlin' it's a mountain of happy things you have to do. Happy things.

Breathe in, breathe out.
You go, girl!

Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. It's a game someone I know plays to get their kid into the car for school. Should work for most of us! or the general idea, maybe not always feet. That and breathing, like Chris says.

When I'm in the middle of stuff like that (and I always am at least a bit), I so want to be on the other side already! I know I'll get there, but I don't want to do the work. Lazy, that's me.

End of babble.

Oh, cool- can hardly wait to see that new hand spun sweater!
Skirt done, wow. Just curious, is your girl wearing a tuxedo?

You know, if you know a graphic designer, you can make some very nice invites on the computer, have them copied onto really nice paper, fold tehm in thirds,tape the edge, skip the envelope and send them that way. I saves a ton of money, it is easy, and it really can look very nice. It will serve your humbe peeps just fine.

Shit, you've got a lot on your plate right now. Breathe in, breathe out.

Buy those little disposable cameras by the dozens, hand them out to guests. Collect them at the end of the event. Photographer. Done! :)

Disposable cameras, yes. Plastic wine glasses, no. From a person who cannot drink out of a plastic cup, and I'm rather humble. Sorry!

Don't forget to order the virtual invitations! You know -- for all your virtual friends who are coming to your virtual wedding! I mean, after all, I was there when you and Lala met, I watched you grow closer, I shared the whole romance with you, and I'm darn tootin' [not what I first wrote] not going to miss the wedding. And if I remember that world map of your web pals -- I'm darn tootin' not the only one who feels that way! Rachael + Lala -- my heart sings with joy for you both. A virtual toast, just to get ready for the big event.

Hey darling! I totally understand how all the should-be-doing-s get overwhelming, but think about why you're overwhelmed with them: You are moving to a HOUSE with your girl! You're MARRYING your girl! I see that others already have pointed out to you that your list of things to do is a list of happy things... happy happy things! And I'm happy FOR you! Love from Sweden.

These are good list!
Building-a-life lists!!
be happy.
be thankful.

plastic, for sure :D

We had plastic at my wedding, and I think everybody was okay with it. Maybe they just didn't tell me they weren't because they didn't want to hurt my feelings, but the plastic cups isn't what they remember. Just start marking things off the list slowly and it will get less and less overwhelming!

One thing at a time. Just pick one thing to do and do it, without thinking about the rest. You just have to get that one thing done and then you can relax.

Then repeat. And smile! These are great things to be worrying about. (But yeah, wedding and house at once?!? That's why we haven't set a date yet, until after we're moved in.)


The taint infographic on TDS was THE BEST.

What a great time of your life! These times of great change can be overwhelming, but they are also very heady and exciting. When I got married (in my backyard, did my own catering, made my dress, relandscaped, and made our own beer and wine for the event), I learned that friends and family are the key. Delegate tasks as much as possible to people you trust. They will do something unexpectedly wonderful. The key (I realize looking back on what I inadvertantly did) is to not have expectations about the things you delegate. That way you are sure to be happy with the result.

Disposable cameras are a great idea; we did that as well. Do you know anyone with a video camera? My uncle video taped our wedding.

For the things you need to do: baby steps, break it down into bite size pieces. No one can blame you for being afraid to eat a whole cow. A chop here, a burger there, before you know it the freezer is bare. Unless you are a vegetarian and I have just really stepped in it.

It is all worth it. Lala is wonderful and the house is adorable (I had a serious pang of jealousy). Married life in your own little nest is so nice.

Order the cake? Lists are our friends. When I get really overwhelmed, I limit the amount of items on the list to 3 or 5. I make a thousands lists but they are short and for me, less overwhelming.

"Recent" bride delurking here. Find the photographer immediately, that's the hardest part. That's the only regret I have about my own wedding, that I didn't get a professional photographer and relied on those little cameras. I don't have a single good shot of us, anywhere. If you have an artistic friend with a camera, you might go that route, too.

No-one will remember what kind of plates they ate off of. You can get "nice" plastic drinking glasses and heavy paper plates and plastic ware at Costco very inexpensively and in large amounts.

The only things we had done professionally were the invitations and the food.

Everything else was homemade or done by us or our friends, and we liked it that way.

Don't let the invitations scare you, if you want engraved ones just go to a stationery store and pick one that says "you and Lala" and order them. They only take a week or ten days to arrive, if that long. The longest part is addressing the envelopes. The only linen we had were the tablecloths and they were a good investment. Everything looked beautiful on a "real" tablecloth.

Do one task per day, or per three days, and you'll get it done in nothin' flat. Make a list and check things off so you don't forget something.

Oh, flowers, don't forget flowers. I had a bouquet and some boutonnieres for the guys and some simple corsages for woman relatives, done by my future daughter-in-law. We put nice plants on the tables instead of having loads of flowers, and had guests take the plants home. I got the plants at a nursery and put pretty paper around the pots for decoration.

You and Lala are lovely creative people and your wedding will be beautiful even if you just go to the judge in nubby suits and gloves, and adjourn to a pizza place. So relax and enjoy all the parts of your wedding! And post pics, for heaven's sake!

You know, I think back to the weddings I've been to, and I can't remember if they had "real" or plastic glasses at any of them. Go for plastic....

Also...music for the reception (and the wedding, for that matter). Will the Whoreshoes be playing at your wedding? Do you need a DJ? So much to think about....

Not that you asked, but here are my 2 cents - delegate. You have 2 sisters and numerous friends who love you and I'm sure would be more than happy to help out. You be the creative genius and let them be the leg work. (this goes for moving and the wedding, ya know)

Best wishes!

invitations should be mailed 6-8 weeks before the wedding, so I'd do invites today, if possible. flowers, if any, should be ordered (with a shipping arrival date 2-3 days before the event) or a florist chosen, cake is crucial, if it's not included with food & drink, I suggest a couple's massage for the day before, to relax & regroup

I'm so happy to hear about your house! I have been a bit behind in my blog reading. Packing, I know exactly how you feel, unpacking, I'm with you there too! You've got a lot going on, I hope you realize that many of the "most stressful" things are happenig in your life right now. Take time to just relax and be with La! All the best to you both with everything.

Go for rented glasses. It makes a party feel very special for little money. It is your wedding, after all, which is pretty darn special!

But the buying shoes part will be fun! I love buying shoes. If I were in SF, I'd take you shopping for shoes. And, um... other stuff.

I'm just here to second Juti on the photographer. I got married in a huge rush (but very happy rush, and no, no pregnancy was involved!) and we relied on our friends to take the pictures. It's the only thing we regret (that, and not having time to get our respective fathers over from the ends of the earth). You will really want at least one beautiful, frameable shot of the pair of you, and that means a good photographer with a great camera, and a little bit of time devoted to posing on the day.

Everything else will be fine. Three months? Who needs three months?! I had four weeks to plan the wedding *and* a move across the world!

(I'd go for real glasses, though.)

I'm sure you've gotten tons of recommendations for photographers, but I **highly** recommend the one we used!! Her name is Kate Grove and her contact info can be found at http://www.katebealgrove.com/. She shoots both color and b&w without charging extra. AND, the first thing she asked us before quoting us a price was "how many attendees"? She actually adjusts her price according to the size of the wedding, which I didn't find anywhere else! Ok, I'll stop.

Good luck getting through everything with your insanity intact. Oh, wait...


I too have no nice pictures from my wedding. We eloped and there was a "pro" photographer included in the cost of the ceremony, but he was terrible. I really regret that part.

Good luck w/ the planning. I'm in the middle of it myself, and the best advice I got was: Chill. Nobody ever left a wedding complaining about the flowers or the napkins or anything. As long as everyone feels really welcome, and we've done our best to make them feel that way ... that's the recipe. GOOD LUCK!

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Rachael loves it when book clubs read her work! She's happy to attend book clubs that read her books either in person or via Skype. Contact her at rachael@rachaelherron.com to make arrangements.


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