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September 2, 2006

Okay, Emily's done it again. I don't always blog my friend's patterns, even if I heart them. That's mainly because I just forget. But dude, go look at her sweater. If I wasn't loving knitting cables again, good old sturdy cables, I'd cast on for that, like, now.

Also, Nathania mentioned in Emily's comments that Emily looks like a Vermeer painting. I think that's just right. Isn't she purdy?

However, right now? I need big cables! I have lost patience for all else! It's the only kind of knitting making me happy right now. All this more than 5st/inch.... ack. Gives me a headachle. (Heh. Typo, but I like that.) Come spring, though, I'll be all over the fine knitting again, and I'll make Emily's lovely sweater. Something about fall approaching makes me want sturdy yarn, good definition, and no more than 4.5 st/inch. I'd admit to preferring 4st/inch, but that would make me look lazy, wouldn't it?

I wasn't really going to write about knitting. Whoops. What I meant to write about was going to the beach the other days with the you-know-whats.

There was this woman there, a nice, older woman. A sensible looking woman. Nice looking dog with her. My dog Clara ran up to the lady and said hi. She gave Clara a carrot.

NO! No feeding my dog without asking! And even then, I'll say no, because she's turned, recently, into this huge beggar dog, the annoying kind that smells a treat in a stranger's pocket and stands there, looking and demand-sitting, then nuzzling and pushing with her muzzle. Extremely not-okay behavior in my dog, so now no one is allowed to give her treats but me or Lala.

So this lady gave her a carrot. And then looked at me. I said,  "Thank you, but no more, please."

She said, "Why not?"

I could have gone into the above discussion with her, how I don't want a dog that begs because that's a horrid trait, but I was feeling anti-social and didn't want to interact with humans. So I said, "She's allergic."

She said, "She can't be."

I said, "Carrots make her sick."

"That can't be. How is that? I don't believe that."

By then, of course, I was deeply invested in and believing my own lie, and offended that she would dispute the absolute truth I was making up. "Carrots give her diarrhea. She gets very, very sick. Violently ill." (This WAS just after Clara's mystery illness, and I was treating her tummy very carefully. That part is true.)

"No, they don't."

"Even one carrot will do it."



Then she shrugged, and I humphed, and we pretended to be polite about each others' mangy curs. I felt vaguely guilty about my lie.

It wasn't until much later that what I was feeling wasn't really guilt, but irritation. How are you gonna argue with someone about what their beloved pet is or isn't allergic to? Huh? I think I'll try that soon with a kid allergic to peanuts. I'll tell mom that the kid can't be allergic, that she must be wrong. That'll go over well.

This soccer-dog mom thing is making me protective. Grrr.


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you make me giggle.
The Wise Woman Crone totally
made you squirm,
Off to check out Emily's pattern....

People who give other people's pets any type of food without asking piss me off to the nth degree. I don't care what it is, I don't care how well-intentioned you are. Even if it does not make an animal sick, you can (as this woman did) reinforce bad behavior or even cause danger to an animal (e.g. stories about feeding someone else's kitty in your garage because it "looks hungry," and then inadvertently locking kitty in when well-intentioned-but-dumb kitty feeders go on holiday).

I'm particularly sensitive about this because a neighbor feeding my childhood sheltie bad, carcinogen-coated nasty "treats" (you know, the "basted" with red yuck kind?) gave him (or helped him on his way to) pancreatitis and nearly killed the critter. How'd we find out? Well, after he had it, we had to supervise the dogger closely while outside for the rest of his life. She met us in front of her house, with treatie in hand, saying, "Oh, there's my little friend! I'll bet he misses his treats!" My dad nearly killed her for good measure.

well, i don't mind people giving my pets treats. when my cat disappeared for 2 months, clearly someone fed her and if they hadn't she might have come home sooner, but she also might have died.

on the other hand, if you told this woman no. for whatever reason. even if it was a lie ;) she shouldn't have argued. it's none of her business why you don't want clara taking treats from strangers.

and i love that sweater too.

One excellent reason for not letting strangers give your pets treats is that not all strangers are kind or benign. If you can train Clara not to take a treat until YOU give her the ok, that's a very safe way to handle it. Because there's no way to train other people. Hell, I don't like it when strangers run up to PET my dogs without checking with me first.

Giving treats without your permission is bad enough, but really now - who gives carrots as a dog treat. Yummy liver bits I can see, but carrots?

I too am very protective of my dog. Fortunately, she won't take treats from anyone but us. She's just not the trusting type, I guess.

Ever since my cat's first (of two) scary bout with lower urinary tract disease, I will never, EVER give someone else's pet a treat (especially "people food") without asking first. You have no idea what health problems those unknown animals have, and it's irresponsible and stupid to assume that whatever you give them is okay. That said, I do have a neighbourhood cat that I feed at the back door, but I know for a fact that he is a wild alley cat with no home, and I feed him high quality cat food, the same stuff that my own cats (including Mr. Urinary Tract) get. While she likely meant no harm, this woman was totally irresponsible, and for her to argue with you about such a thing is asinine. What if this lady was a server in a restaurant and didn't believe a patron who said they were allergic to something? It boggles the mind.

When I took Riley to obedience school lo those many years ago, Thou Shalt Not Give Treats To Someone Else's Dog Without Asking was one of the first rules of off leash park etiquette we were given.

I've liked Emily's designs before, but for one reason or another they didn't exactly suit me. I look horrible in vests, I look horrible with anything going horizontally over my belly, etc....

Dude, a vee on BOTH sides in LACE in the middle of HANDSPUN. Gulp. I have a kid sweater in progress and I'm DYING over here trying not to figure out just exactly how I'm going to make this sexy little number without being totally callous and dumping the kid sweater in the bah-I'll-finish-it-later pile.

I would have given that woman a big ole piece of my mind. Jesus, what an idiot she was.

Unbelievable that she would not only feed your dog, but then ARGUE with you about it! Totally irresponsible behaviour, especially from another animal owner. Feeding a lost/stray animal is one thing, but handing out carrots to dogs in front of their owners at the beach? Harrumph, indeed!

I agree that this woman was a complete idiot, not asking first and then arguing about it. I also want to say that my dog LOVES carrots and will run to me if I open the veggie bin in the refrigerator. Of course I don't always give her one, since I don't want her begging.

Don't feel guilty. It's none of her business why you don't want her to feed your dog.

I love Emily's pattern too. It's really beautiful and different. She rocks - I already told her that. AND Nathania's opening up a yarn store in October. We should plan a supporting meetup in October at the new store cause we're like that (tho you may be travelling the world then...)

The carrot lady is a be-yatch. Avoid avoid avoid.

I am so dying to make Emily's pattern, too. And am also deep in the cable mode with Brother Tim's pullover. Ah, but I can dream, can't I? Soon as I finish the cables, who knows?

As for the carrot lady, most people do not understand allergies, faux though they may be. You are perfectly right to insist that she desist from feeding your dog without first checking with you.

The arguing is what gets me--any normal person (i.e. me ;p) would have just apologised and moved on.

She was probably just feeling defensive and being a social ret@rd about it.

Other dog owners annoy the piss out of me sometimes...

Totally like having kids - well, except that the crazy lady is actually your mother-in-law and you can't avoid her and her judgments on your parenting no matter how hard you try and no matter how many good lies you can think of. Oops. Do I sound bitter??

Absolutely unacceptable. What if this were your human child? Would she just start shoving sugar and dyes and all sorts of things down the kids throat because "they can't possibly be allergic?" Steve and I treat our cat as though it were our baby, and NO ONE has permission to feed him. These are rules you sometimes just have to put in place for whatever reason and you DO NOT have to explain yourself. Period.
Whoa, I just got a little heated, didn't I? Definately a sore spot for me.

Holy crap! What an obnoxious woman! Arguing with you about YOUR dog? Dang! I would go back to that dog park and tell her that FYI: yes there are such things as carrot allergies. And just in case she's got the alternate of celery in her dang pocket, tell her that the two allergies often go together. Oh and follow with a big "Up Yours!"
PS: My dogs LOVE carrots!

Perhaps she is somehow related to the dude at your condo?

Um. What the FUCK? That's all I have to say for that woman.

SO. RUDE. I can't believe she was like, "um, no she isn't allergic. nanny nanny boo boo." how does she know?!?!!? silly crazy treat lady.

do NOT feel bad. the carrots could've made her sick, right? ya never know. you are in the right, schmoo. and a good doggy mommy to boot.

I agree with everyone else...thou shalt not feed someone else's pet without asking first. Our dog, Gypsy, just loves carrots.

That sweater is giving me extra incentive to lose some weight. Maybe by next spring...

I do believe we should drop that woman over a cliff.

Next time someone tries to give your precious dog a treat, just say, "No thanks. She is not allowed to take food from strangers." It's that simple. Then begin working with Clara on how to NOT take ANTYHING from strangers. It involves a bit of negative reinforcement, but it will be worth it the first time you see her ignore the proferrings of someone you don't know, or trust. My dogs will not eat from a stranger's hand, and they know the command "leave it!" They will both leave their favorite ball, or a big old meaty bone, until I tell them it's OK. A hard lesson, but one worth learning. Just thinking about Clara here.

My friend Sandi's dog is allergic to animal protein. No meat, no dairy, no egg. Dogs really can have allergies. Besides, you just don't feed other people's pets without permission. Period.

And I, too, am in love with Honorine. I have yarn stashed to make it in pink. Yay, Emily!

You know, I have heard of people actually doing that with kids--they don't believe they are really allergic. And then, hello! Anaphalactic (sp?) shock!


Oh GOOD LORD you crazy person!! THANK YOU! Giving me such a compliment on my looks. Oh my goodness. I am just not USED to such things. I am blushing like crazy.

oh my god, that is hilarious. kudos to you for telling her to keep the carrots away from your dog! very assertive and really, not that big of a lie and nothing to feel guilty about, i think. good for you! :)

I HATE it when people feed my dog without asking. He has a testy tummy and I don't want to have to deal with *aftermath*. Its just rude to assume you can feed someone else's dog without asking.

Well, it is possible to be "allergic" to carrots (I don't know about dogs but I do know about humans).

I am. Well, not truly "allergic" in the anaphylactic-shock sense, but "intolerant of" as in the "lactose-intolerant" sense.

If I eat more than the few shreds of carrots that come in the standard salad mix...or more than the few tiny chunks in a bowl of soup - well, let's just say the next day is a day of misery for me.

And people cannot comprehend this! It drives me up the wall! They're all like, "oh, you can't really be sensitive to carrots...you just don't like them is all." No. I LIKE them, they do not LIKE me.

I regularly get people pressuring me to "just try" carrot-heavy foods. I've so far refrained from asking them if I can spend the next day in their bathroom, but I'm getting to that point.

(I'm also sensitive to aspartame - it gives me migraines - and I've had people slip me aspartame-laced stuff without telling me, to "prove" me wrong. So far, they've only "proven" me right and made me very angry at them...)

It's just rude and wrong to give another person's animal, or child, or whatever food without okaying it with that person first. Some animals have to be on very special diets. Some kids have allergies or sensitivities or things like PKU where the wrong thing could disable them...

Our labrador has crazy food allergies - to the extent that we feed her a very specific (read that as expensive) dry dog food and all treats are fruits or vegetables. We keep one of the three pound bags of baby carrots in the fridge at all times just for her.
We struggle constantly with people giving her treats without asking, which means around $40 in medication each time. Thankfully, about 50% of the time, people will ask before giving her something, and I very much appreciate that.

Long time ago, when I was about twelve, I gave my little two-year-old cousin a piece of ham. Then I went to give her little friend a piece. Turns out she is Jewish! Thank goodness her mom stopped me! Taught me a lesson, that's for sure.

Oooh...don't you hate that? I have a friend who insists on feeding my cats nibbles of whatever she's eating. Most of the time I don't mind much, since Bradon and I often entertain ourselves by seeing what random things the cats will eat (yes to frozen peas, no to creamy pesto sauce), but once she tried to feed one of them chocolate. Um...NO. She insisted that the idea of chocolate being bad for animals was a myth, and that she feeds her cats chocolate all the time, but that is not a chance I'm willing to take. I told her to take the chocolate home and feed her own damn cats.

Just one thing: what the hell is WRONG with people?!

Oh that is a HUGE NO-NO! I never ever give anyone's dog anything without asking even if I know the dog (well unless it is Zubin and I'm being sneaky and then I usually get caught and get in trouble but ANYWAY!) There is nothing wrong with telling people that they can't feed your dog. I also don't think you need to explain why, just say NO and if they ask why then say it's your decision and that is that. It's hard though but whew! now I'm irritated at the lady!

People can be equally insensitive about kids too...
I was walking home with my daughter from the park one day, where there is a playground and a fenced dog run. People are supposed to keep their dogs on leash until they reach the fenced area, but they don't. As we walked down the entrance driveway a man approached with two large dogs who were running ahead of him off-leash. My then 4-yr-old daughter, who was bit in the face by a dog once, took my hand and told me she was scared. I politely asked the man if he could please put his dogs on leash because my daughter was scared.
His response??? "She doesn't look scared to me!"
I was floored. I started to argue with the guy (when I really wanted to smack him) and then realized I wasn't going to get anywhere with it, and just calmly walked my daughter home.
It really pissed me off.

1. Who gives a dog a carrot? Was she waiting for a pony to wander past, but there weren't any ponies, so why not give it to a dog?

2. Who argues with "She's allergic"? That's incredibly rude. Also, now I feel defensive about my own use of "I'm allergic" whenever I don't want to eat something, but I don't want to argue about it. Damn.

How about "she's on a very strict lamb and rice diet"? If pressed, you could say it's an exclusion diet, to find out what she's allergic to.

I guess it would work until you ran into someone with a pocket full of lamb...

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