ThotsJuly 7, 2008
Two thoughts, one bigger than the other:
1. The reason I am so tired every night: Although I always work 12 hours shifts, I am not usually THINKING so hard for twelve hours straight without a break. (Also, I'm going on my seventh day now). I know how to do my job at home, so I just do it. Here, I'm constantly having to ask questions. How do I find a cultural specialist from the Yurok tribe to go to the fire that's close to the Hoopa when he's not listed in the national system and he doesn't have a house phone? How do you track an engine that's now being staffed with all new personnel, some of whom still show attached to another engine miles away? Dunno. I'm learning. It's great. I love being outside of my comfort zone. In most things. Not when it comes to pillows, though. Hells no. I need a flat pillow. Period.
2. You people make me a better person. Everything is linked, I know that. Everything is connected. The fact that you send me love and the best comments anyone ever had leaves me with exponentially more love to send out. I have learned more about compassion in the last month than in my whole 36 years. I've learned that love isn't just words said out loud, it's action. The washing of dishes. The emptying of a bedpan. A smile. Any motion that's driven by compassion is love. So from me to you, I send love in these typed words.
2.1 I am sooo tired that I'm more touchy-feely than normal, and that could be explained by the fact that I'm in Humboldt, I think (no, not THAT. Come on). I believe they're pretty granola up here. But I mean it.