Prop. H8 (or Why I'm Crying)May 26, 2009
I'm so mad, my friends.
You may have heard that the California Supreme Court upheld Prop 8. It sounds nice, doesn't it? But Prop 8 was AGAINST gay marriage: it was the proposition taking away the right to marry that the Supreme Court gave gays and lesbians last June. From June to November, we had the right to marry in California.
Then the popular vote of the people took away rights of a group of people in California.
This court decision was about whether or not what California did, in allowing that vote, was legal.
The court ruled that it was.
Gays and lesbians may not marry in my state. It means that a woman does not have the same rights as a man -- the right to marry a woman (and vice versa).
However, the 18,000 couples who DID get married in those few months it was legal, get to STAY married. I get to stay married.
You know what? I would bet that most of us would give up our legal marriages RIGHT NOW in order to get rights for all. (Besides, then I could just get out that well-used dress and wear it again.)
So there are now two distinct classes within the gay and lesbian community now. There are the 36,000 of us who are married legally, and the approximate million who aren't and who now CAN'T be married legally.
Somehow, this is worse in my mind than if Prop 8 had been upheld AND they took away our marriages. That, at least, would make sense. This makes no sense.
And it breaks my heart. Lala's sick today with a sore throat, but I woke her up crying with the news. We're not going to march this morning because the headache that threatened me when I woke up socked me upside the head with the tears.But tonight, we'll be at the rally: 5pm, City Hall, SF. Find your own rally here.
And somehow, doing the dishes and washing clothes and cleaning the floors is what's making me feel validated right now. Bringing Lala coffee and ibuprofen in bed. Making sure the dogs go out. We're married.
We're married. This is a marriage. Legally, I'm married.
And it's so bittersweet.